There was a time in 2020 when the world didn’t feel real anymore.
Every day, we watched the news, and every day it got worse. Hospitals overflowing. Doctors pleading for help. And images none of us were prepared for, rows of body bags, stories of people who went in and never came home.
It wasn’t just information. It was fear, delivered straight into our living rooms.
Then one day, it wasn’t on the screen anymore.
It was me.
I was diagnosed with COVID-19 during that first wave, when nobody really knew what was going to happen next. When survival didn’t feel guaranteed. When a positive test felt like a question mark hanging over your life.
I called my family to tell them.
They cried.
Not quietly. Not casually. They cried like they thought they might be saying goodbye. Like this might be the last time we would ever speak. And in that moment, I realized something that I don’t think we talk about enough now.
We weren’t just dealing with a virus.
We were living inside a psychological storm.
Survival Wasn’t the End
I made it through.
But that wasn’t the end of the story.
Because for some of us, COVID didn’t just pass through our bodies and leave. It stayed. It changed things. It rewired how our bodies function.
Today, I live with Hyperadrenergic POTS, a form of what many now recognize as long COVID. It affects my nervous system. My heart rate and blood pressure. My ability to function the way I used to.
It has limited my life in ways I never expected.
Things that used to be simple aren’t simple anymore. Energy isn’t something I can take for granted. Even the act of leaving the house feels different now, I no longer drive because the symptoms can be really scary when I’m behind the wheel and they happen to occur.
For some people, COVID is something they had.
For me, it’s something I still live with.
We Were Vulnerable, And We Trusted
Back then, we were told to trust the system.
Trust the guidance.
Trust the institutions.
Trust that the programs being rolled out were there to help us get through one of the most uncertain times in modern history.
And a lot of us did.
Because what choice did we have?
We were scared. We were vulnerable. We were trying to protect our families, our health, and our homes all at the same time.
But over time, questions started to form.
What Was Happening Behind the Scenes?
In recent times, we’ve started to see more scrutiny around how things were handled during the pandemic.
Reports, investigations, and even legal actions, like the indictment announced by the U.S. Department of Justice involving a former official at the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, have raised concerns about transparency and record handling during COVID.
At the same time, public figures like Ron Johnson have been pushing for further answers about how information was managed during the pandemic.
I’m not here to draw conclusions that haven’t been proven.
But I am here to ask a question that feels more relevant now than ever:
If information was mishandled in some cases, what did that mean for the decisions that affected all of us?
When Help Doesn’t Feel Like Help
During that same period, many families, including mine, relied on relief programs to get through.
Programs that were meant to protect us.
To stabilize us.
To help us survive not just medically, but financially.
And this is where my story becomes more than just about health.
Because, you are putting your trust into systems that are supposed to follow rules, protect people, and act in good faith.
But what happens when that doesn’t feel like what you experienced?
What happens when, instead of feeling protected, you feel confused, overwhelmed, or even harmed by the very systems that were supposed to help you?
That’s not just frustration.
That’s a question of accountability.
This Isn’t Over
There are people right now calling for answers.
There are investigations happening.
There are legal actions beginning to surface.
Maybe accountability will come.
Maybe it won’t come in the way people expect.
But here’s what I know for sure.
For people like me, this didn’t end in 2020.
It didn’t end when I survived the virus.
It didn’t end when the world started reopening.
It didn’t end when the headlines moved on.
I am still living with the impact.
Physically. Emotionally. Logistically. Financially.
And I know I’m not the only one.
The Truth We Deserve
We lived through something that changed the world.
We trusted.
We adapted.
We survived.
And now, as more information continues to come to light, one thing feels clear:
We deserve to understand what really happened.
Not just for the sake of history.
But for the sake of the people who are still living with the consequences.
Because for some of us, COVID wasn’t just a moment in time.
It was the beginning of a new reality.
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