Let’s talk about boundaries. Not the picket-fence kind or the imaginary line that separates your flower bed from your nosy neighbor’s. I’m talking about the personal kind—the ones that help us protect our peace, energy, and sanity. You know, the kind that makes people squint at you like you’ve just spoken fluent Klingon because… how dare you not be endlessly available?
For a long time, I struggled with the idea that setting boundaries was somehow selfish. I mean, I’ve always been the “yes” person. The helper. The “sure, I’ll do it” girl even when I was dead on my feet. It felt easier to stretch myself thin than to disappoint someone. But the truth is—saying yes to everyone else often meant saying no to myself. And let me tell you, that math doesn’t add up.
After everything I’ve been through—especially in the past year—it’s become painfully clear how important boundaries really are. Losing my mom flipped my entire world upside down, and in the aftermath, I was hit with wave after wave of betrayal, grief, and unexpected drama. It was in that chaos that I realized how much of myself I had been giving away… and how little I had left to give to me.
So I started saying no. Not with an attitude. Not with a side of sass (okay, maybe just a sprinkle sometimes). But with confidence. With calm. With the understanding that my time, energy, and emotional well-being are valuable—just as valuable as anyone else’s.
And guess what? Some people didn’t like it. They pulled back. Some disappeared completely. But here’s the thing: people who respect your boundaries are the people who deserve to be in your life. The rest? Let ‘em go. Life isn’t a clearance rack—your worth isn’t up for grabs at a discount.
Here’s what I’ve learned about setting boundaries that actually stick:
- Be clear and kind. You don’t need a 10-page speech. “I’m not available for that” works just fine. You don’t owe everyone an explanation.
- Repeat if necessary. Some people test boundaries like toddlers. Stay firm. Repeat yourself. Calmly. No eye twitching.
- Let the guilt pass. It’s normal to feel guilty at first. But guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re doing something new.
- Check in with yourself. Boundaries aren’t static. Life changes, people change, you change. Adjust as needed.
- Celebrate your growth. Every time you set a boundary, you’re honoring yourself. That’s no small thing.
Setting boundaries has made space in my life for the people, projects, and peace that actually fill me up instead of draining me dry. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself—and I’m still learning, still adjusting, still growing.
So if you needed a sign to start protecting your peace, this is it. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to put yourself first without apology.
And if anyone gives you grief for it? Well, tell them Aunty Christine said, “Get a hobby, honey.”
With love and firm (but fabulous) boundaries,
Aunty Christine
💋✨
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